How to Raise Your Children

by Charlie Shedd

"How to Raise Your Children." 
This was the title of one of my finest efforts. Like all good speeches it had unity, order, movement. It electrified, edified, specified! It grabbed them quick and held them fast with humor, pathos, drama! All over the Midwest I gave it. They paid me a handsome fee and they were glad to get me. "This guy will wow you!" That's what they said, and the people came. With high hopes, they came for "How to Raise Your Children."

 Then we had a child!

 That sound you just heard was the great elocutionist falling flat on his face. My majestic speech (honest, it was great) had been totaled. Those brilliant ideas had such a droll sound at 2:00 a.m. with the baby in full cry!

 In my defense I want you to know this—I kept on trying. I changed my title to "Some Suggestions to Parents," and charged bravely on. Then we had two more children and I altered it again. This time it came out "Feeble Hints to Fellow Strugglers."

 From there it was all downhill. The appeal was out of it. My drawing power moved to zero. (I forgot to tell you the honoraria went down with each revision.) But for another thing, I couldn't stand to hear me.

 So today I seldom speak on parenthood. And whenever I do, after one or two old jokes, you'd catch this uncertain sound… "Anyone here got a few words of wisdom?"

So what is YOUR take-away from this funny, poignant, and insightful story?

Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your take-away.

* Note: The above story was take from this book.
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